Ask First, Monkey!

Author: Juliet Clare Bell
Illustrator: Abigail Tompkins
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Ask First, Monkey! is a super example of a Parachute Book: it carries such important message about consent and boundaries wrapped up in a gently humorous and engaging story.

Monkey, the protagonist, speaks in a convincingly child-like manner. Monkey just loves tickling his friends and he is SO good at it (he was ’born to make people laugh’), so when Goat asks him to stop the tickling, Monkey is taken aback; it’s hard for him to believe that there is someone who wouldn’t enjoy his spectacular tickles. Some of the other animals start to admit that they don’t enjoy being tickled either, or prefer certain types of tickling to others (Dog likes chase tickles, but surprise tickles are too jittery). Frog was nervous to admit Monkey’s tickling was unwelcome because of their substantial size difference (‘What if I’d told you and you’d been cross?’).

Monkey crucially realises that he needs to ASK people first! He makes it up to his friends with his ‘marvellous, massive, monkey hugs’, but this time, he asks for their permission first and respects their wishes.

Juliet Clare Bell’s text is imaginative and playful while delivering the important messages simply and skilfully. Abigail Tompkins’ delightful illustrations are a perfect pairing to the words, fizzing with energy and providing a dynamic pop of colour to each page. We heartily recommend sharing this book with any young child and using it as a starting point for a chat about consent and boundaries.

The messages we found in this book:

Acknowledgement:

It can be challenging for young children to realise that others may not enjoy the same things as they do. Monkey is amazed (and a little hurt) when he discovers that not everyone loves his tickling games. He reacts at first by calling his friends ‘spoilsports’ for not joining in, but when he’s had more time to consider things, he realises this is unfair.
Saying “no” to something that makes you feel uncomfortable or sad is absolutely the right thing to do, but admitting it (particularly to someone who is bigger/older/physically stronger than you) can be daunting.

Guidance:

Always ask first!
You have the right to say “no”.
People won’t necessarily speak up if they’re unhappy or uncomfortable about something (Frog is worried about making Monkey cross as Frog is so much smaller than Monkey).
We are all different and we should respect each other’s feelings.
People who refuse or decline something should not be criticised or coerced into changing their minds.

Hope & Inspiration:

Monkey learns an important lesson and adapts his behaviour effectively. He apologises for what he has done in the past. The group of friends respect each other’s preferences when they play.
Monkey’s friends explain their feelings in a calm, clear and honest way, without aggression or conflict.